Why Rejection Hurts So Much?
Updated: Mar 10
I heard many times people talking about rejection. People used to tell me to not think about that,
to just forget or mostly they used to tell me that I always get everything that I want. Probably,
that was common in my life before; however, the transition to university let me see that life is not
so easy, is not so perfect. When we are just in our comfort zone is easy to believe that we will
always heard a ‘yes’ but life is about changing, is about taking risk, having mistake and learning
When we just began university, we had dreams/goals/ambitious. We wanted to fit, to meet
people and make friends. Some wanted to be more involved than others, to be a fresher
representative in your favourite society, to be a blogger or writer, or maybe to be the one who is
always organizing parties and events. Others wanted to work or to have internships. Panels, tips
and testimonials about Spring weeks of second and third year students began and the stress of
making the perfect CV, Cover Letter and interview dominated the atmosphere. I remember that
my mum told me: “You haven’t started university and you are thinking about working”. She
laughed and saw me as I was crazy while I was applying for my first spring week at the end of
With the pass of the months, I realized that things were not as simple as I imagine. I heard a lot
of “NO”, of all different types. Some were kind and other just destroyed me momentarily.
According to Psychologist Guy Winch, rejections are the most common emotional wound we
sustain in daily life. But why rejections hurt so much? A recent research discovered that the
same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we
experience physical pain. Therefore, small rejections hurt more than we think they should.
Rejections can generate emotional pain as well as damage our mood and self-esteem.
However, the greatest damage is self-inflicted. We try to destroy ourselves by lamenting our
shortcomings, feeling disgusted with ourselves and intensely self-criticizing.
Against rejections, there are two kind of people: those who let rejection define them and the
strong people who deal with it. Of course, Rejection hurts but it gives us the opportunity to learn
from it and realized that rejections do not define us. We cannot let our self-worth depend upon
other people's opinions because we are strong enough to get everything that we want if we fight for it. If you want a job and get rejected, keep applying. If you want a position in a society and
get rejected, keep being involved. If you want to be in first class and fail, keep studying, asking
for help, and practicing. If you really want something, you should never give up because
everyone receives what they deserve in the right time, in the right moment.