• Laura Lotkowska

The Impact Of Porn On A Woman's Sex Life


Due to the lack of a comprehensive sex education curriculum, porn for many young people

is their main source of information about sex and relationships. It creates a fantasy for

young men watching and sets ridiculously high standards for women. By watching porn,

ideas are being etched into our minds without us even realising it.


Even in 2020, sex is still a taboo. If your parents are like mine, they just went through the

basics of sex when you were younger, the standard birds and bees talk. In school, we just

went through the biological aspect of it and how to put a condom on a banana. But that was

it. Not once did I get taught about: importance of lubrication, other birth control options

apart from condoms, good sexual hygiene etc. This is just basic important information that

all women should know. Furthermore, the teaching is very heteronormative as there is no

mention about LGBT+ sex, not even safe sex practices. It just highlights that the curriculum

isn’t there to actually teach us about sex, it’s just there to show us how to keep the human

race going.


This leads to young people turning to porn as an educator. One of the worst represented

parts of sex in porn is the female orgasm. A study (Seguin,Rodrige and Lavigne 2018)

showed that in the 50 most popular videos on Pornhub in 2017 only 18% of women

orgasmed compared to 78% of men. Of those, 45% were shown to orgasm solely through

penetrative sex. While in reality only one in four women can orgasm through penetrative

sex, and most need some form of clitoral stimulation. Another 35% were shown to orgasm

through anal sex and only 15% were shown to orgasm with some form of clitoral

stimulation. This leads to the idea, mainly believed by men, that the female orgasm is a

myth and it’s as rare as winning the lottery; which of course isn’t true. Women can orgasm

and should get just as much pleasure from sex as men. Women shouldn’t play an inferior

role in sex.


Another issue is that women don’t talk about their desires in porn and that it’s mainly

controlled by the fantasies and desires of the man. The only time in porn videos when

women are heard is when they’re moaning loudly with their faces shown in the camera.

Probably, for the pleasure of the men watching it at home. This makes it less likely for

women to be open about their desires and feel like the men in their relationships are in

charge of sex. Tying masculinity to sexual prowess, the male performance further constructs

women’s orgasms as a product of men’s sexual work and technique applied to women’s

bodies. It shifts physical responsibility for women’s orgasm from women to their male

partners.


More mainstream porn is also becoming increasingly violent with more videos featuring

choking, spitting and gagging. Of course, there is nothing wrong with these acts if they’re

consensual and agreed to beforehand by both partners. However, a BBC survey of 2,049 UK

men showed that one third of the men slapped, gagged, choked or spat on their partners

without asking their partners about it before or during sexual activity. Furthermore, more

than half of these men said pornography had influence their desire to do so. Porn is

glorifying the idea of rough sex and reducing the intimacy of sex. This can also influence the romantic relationship in general as it teaches men that aggression and violence are

acceptable. In links to the idea that women are just objects to be used for sex.


Porn has been and always will be an element of our society and as technology develops it

will evolve even further. As the saying goes, ‘sex sells’. It needs to be completely

revolutionised and we need to take our sexuality back into our own hands. There needs to

be better sex education curriculum which focuses not just on making babies, but on the

pleasure of everyone involved. Be comfortable to talk about what you want in sex and never

be afraid to say no. You don’t owe anyone anything.

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